Spam

I recently read yet another article on consumer profiling that focused on how Spam distributors target certain individuals to advertise their client’s wares. So after immediately wondering exactly how much access Big Brother has to us (don't go there, you'll just freak yourself out), I began sifting through all of my Spam folders, curious to see exactly how I am perceived by American merchants, down to the lowest common denominator…



Here’s what I came up with:

1- Wheelchair offers. Yup. “Redeem your discounted wheelchair today!” The day they finally offer me a free one, I am jumping on it...you never know what the years will bring, but I am holding out for the top of the line.


2- Every dating site known to the universe,apparently has THE perfect man for me. Everything from the sweet-“Meet Cute Christian Singles!”, to the not-so-sweet-”Want Someone Who Will Do ANYTHING??? Click Here!”…


3- Psycho-therapeutic prescription drugs…now this one I feel is just God’s way of providing for the sheep of his flock. Really.


4- Somehow, I have landed on Jetsetter’s radar…exclusive, 5-star vacation offers…I have not been on a vacation in years. Literally. I am not exaggerating.


So to the general public I am a handicapped, desperately single, depressed/schizophrenic/bi-polar ecophobic individual. I feel that perhaps I have some image building to do....